How to dig yourself out of a hole
How to dig yourself out of a hole
It happens. You’re in a networking meeting and the conversation goes to a place you’d rather not visit: Why are you leaving your job?
You know it’s a fair question and you want to be honest, yet you’re uncomfortable putting it out there: You have 30 days to find a job before the company lets you go. What should you do? Tell the truth or spin and sidestep?
You can tell the truth without footnotes and caveats:
Our company is heading in a direction that’s different from the one I’d like my career to take. They’re giving me time to look, which I appreciate. This is what I do best and what I want to do going forward (make it simple and easy to understand) ... . I want to work where my strengths benefit the organization I work for, and I’d like to brainstorm with you about where that might be.
Avoid long and labored explanations that sound more defensive than objective. Stay away from language that makes you sound like a victim and the company a villain. You want the people sitting across from you to relate to your strengths, not your vulnerabilities. You want them to help because you can make a difference for a company, not the other way around.
It happens. You’re in an interview and the employer asks you to describe your strengths and your weaknesses. You nail your strengths. Then, when describing your weaknesses, you hear yourself saying more than you intended. Before you know it the interview is all about what you’ve done wrong instead of what you’ve done right. What can you do to save the situation before it self- destructs?
Call an audible:
Time out. I’ve been focusing on what didn’t work instead of what did. There’s far more to what I bring to the table than what we’ve discussed. For instance … (Then give three solid examples of quantifiable accomplishments that demonstrate how you drive top line or protect bottom line). Once you’ve stabilized the conversation, keep it positive and forward-looking.
It happens. You’ve lost your job and spent hours online looking at want ads, responding to postings. You’ve stopped going out, for fear you’ll run into friends and have to tell them what’s happened. Weeks have turned into months. Now you’re worried that if you reach out and ask for help you’ll look like a loser. How can you explain what’s happened without sounding like a victim?
By telling the truth, nice and easy. After you’ve checked on the well-being of the people you’re calling, let them know … I’ve let too much time pass since talking to you and I apologize. I’ve been focusing on my job search, looking for opportunities to do what I do best. I’d like to sit down with you and brainstorm about places I should look and people I should be speaking to. When can we do that?
It happens. You’ve gotten some feedback you didn’t like and didn’t expect. You got angry, went on the defensive that turned into a tirade and before you knew it you were saying things you didn’t mean or at least, didn’t mean to say. You are as embarrassed as you are sorry it happened. What can you do to turn this around?
Tell the truth, quickly, directly and succinctly:
I apologize. I said things that I didn’t mean and ought not to have said. You wanted to give me constructive feedback and instead of listening to you, which would have been the intelligent thing to do, I responded in anger. Please forgive me.
Joyce Richman is a speaker and career coach conducting seminars and workshops throughout the United States, and the author of "Roads, Routes & Ruts: A Guidebook for Career Success." You can reach her at 288-1799 or JERichman@aol.com. Watch Joyce Richman's latest career advice Wednesdays at 6:35 a.m. during "The Good Morning Show" on WFMY News 2 or visit http://www.digtriad.com/business/columnists/career_minute/
