What you don’t know about yourself can get you in trouble
What you don’t know about yourself can get you in trouble
Q: I’m high-energy and get excited about most anything. My boss just told me that my upbeat attitude is appreciated but I wear people out. I asked what that meant and he said my co-workers have complained (we work in a cubicle village) that I’m loud and disturb their concentration. What am I supposed to do? Act like a zombie? Why should I be the one who’s criticized? Shouldn’t they show some energy and enthusiasm?
A: It sounds like you and the village people are at odds. You want to talk to get energized, and they want to think to get energized. You get pumped from interaction, and they get restored from reflection. As a result, they aren’t able to concentrate when you’re talking and you’re not feeling appreciated when they’re thinking.
You could move to a more extraverted village, your co-workers could wear earplugs, or better yet you could all figure a way to accommodate the varying needs of the members of your group. Take the lead on accommodation. Ask your coworkers if they’re willing to look for a third solution. If they are, find a facilitator willing and able to put the “fun” back into dysfunction.
Q: My boss keeps telling me to speak up and make my voice heard. I would, but everyone talks to hear themselves talk and they’re so loud they wouldn’t hear me if I screamed. So why bother? Shouldn’t my boss be telling them to be quiet instead of telling me to speak up?
A: If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be visible, stand up. If you decide to make a difference, do it the way that works for you and delivers value to the business. You have options. Take action.
Q: I just received my review. I’m bothered by something in it and I don’t know what to do. My boss says that I don’t act mature enough. I don’t know what that means. I’m not as old as my peers, so it is highly likely that I don’t act old because I’m not. I was brought up to say “sir” and “ma’am” and that might be the problem, but my boss won’t say. I’ve asked for clarification several times but he says he can’t explain it to me. What do you think he means?
A: If you receive ambiguous feedback and, despite your effort to clarify its meaning, you still don’t get it, observers may not have concrete, objective evidence to support their comments. Nonetheless, you have left an impression that’s not working in your favor. It’s worth the time and effort to understand it and do something about it. Ask your boss and coworkers what you’re doing well and should continue, and what you’re doing that’s getting in somebody’s way. Listen so you can understand. Don’t correct their view, explain your motivations or defend your position. Think about it and decide what you’re willing to do differently. Then do it.
Joyce Richman is a speaker and career coach conducting seminars and workshops throughout the United States, and the author of “Roads, Routes & Ruts: A Guidebook for Career Success.” You can reach her at 288-1799 or JERichman@aol.com. Watch Richman’s latest career advice Wednesdays at 6:35 a.m. during “The Good Morning Show” on WFMY News 2. You can find this column online by visiting www.TriadCareers.com/whois/joyce_richman.
