When unemployment gets you down, talk it out and take steps to get yourself back on track
When unemployment gets you down, talk it out and take steps to get yourself back on track
As their struggle to find work in the Triad continues, the jobless are feeling the pain — and not just in their pocketbooks.
Losing a job may not compare to the grief of losing a loved one or going through a divorce, but “it’s way up there in traumatizing life events,” says Annie Hadgkiss, a licensed professional counselor with the Brassfield Center for Psychotherapy and Personal Development. “There’s worse things … but this is a loss all the same.”
‘It’s like I just got hit by a truck’
Usually the first reaction is shock. Dale Lunsford knows that feeling all too well. The 60-year-old had fallen victim to company cutbacks twice in the past before being laid off in February from her most recent job with Lincoln Financial Group, where she managed the day-to-day operations of the company’s recognition and benefits program.
She began to see the writing on the wall after witnessing a round of layoffs in December and then noticing that work her team previously took on was going to other departments. So she got herself ready: She prepared her résumé, and even wrote down questions to ask her employer in the event she was laid off.
Even so, nothing could prepare her for that phone call from the human resources department.
“I cannot tell you the emotion. I can’t describe the impact,” she says. “It’s like I just got hit by a truck. I thought I was going to faint … and I was prepared — I was expecting it.”
Despite the visceral blow, Lunsford took no time to get her name back out there. With assistance from Lincoln, which she says was very professional throughout the layoff process, and from outplacement firm Right Management Inc., she quickly got to work on finding another job.
She sought out groups such as Professionals in Transition, for which she also facilitates weekly networking meetings. She also continues to receive support from Right Management, and is even taking an intermediate Microsoft Excel course to brush up on her skills.
“I need to achieve something every day, so I feel guilty if I go and do something (else) because it’s taking time away from my job search,” she says.
‘It does catch up with them’
Not everyone has that ability to bounce back so quickly. And for some, it may not always be the best idea anyway. Sally Leigh, a career management consultant with Right Management, says highly driven individuals sometimes don’t pause to take a breath after losing their job.
“One of the things I often find is they are not taking the time to think through and process what they really want to do next,” Leigh says.
As a result, they can lose focus easily, making their job-search efforts less effective and leading them to face the feelings they should have dealt with from the start. “It does catch up with them,” she says.
Leigh recommends those who have been laid off take about a week to learn to accept their circumstances before regrouping and jumping back into the job market.
“Do some things around the house and let it go,” and then go full-steam ahead in your job search, Leigh advises.
They can then begin to make the gradual transition from ruminating over what was lost to pursuing what is possible.
‘Little successes can lead to bigger ones’
Some people may have an especially hard time adjusting to life-changing events such as job loss. Hadgkiss, who works with clients dealing with problems such as depression, anger or relationship and family issues, says she is seeing an increasing number of clients experiencing the emotional fallout from job loss. They may face feelings such as lingering sadness, a lack of self-esteem or increased anxiety. However, sometimes those feelings can work in one’s favor.
“Some people can use their anxieties to motivate them,” she says. She talks to clients about their overall goals and matches them with the realities of their lives to determine if they are achievable given their circumstances.
Then it’s all about taking small steps. “If you get positive energy going, then you’re more likely to keep it going,” she says. “Little successes,” such as accomplishing chores, going for a walk or visiting the library for a job search, “can lead to bigger ones.”
In cases of depression or chronic anxiety, people may not be able to function enough to achieve even those small tasks, in which case Hadgkiss suggests they seek additional help from a doctor or psychiatrist because medication may be necessary.
Leigh says it helps to ask her clients about their feelings about losing their job before they can even think about their résumé or networking. Often they are still focused only on the job that they had, and what they lost. She gets them to look at all the positive things about themselves, including accomplishments and skills they developed at their former job, and what they can contribute to future employers. But before they can get to that, Leigh says they first have to work through the initial malaise of finding themselves suddenly unemployed. For her, that means simply showing support and reassurance in that early stage.
“Part of it is just being a good listener,” she says.
Lunsford echoed this sentiment. Reaching out to a friend and her sister helped her cope after losing her job.
“I have to share it,” she says. “I have to have someone on the other end of that phone saying, ‘Dale, this too shall pass.’
“Really, truly, that’s what friends are for.”
Contact Patrick Collins at 412-5934 or patrick.collins@news-record.com.
Bouncing back from job loss may include ...
■ Working on building your self-esteem. Make a list of things you know are great about you and remind yourself of those things often. Positive self-talk really can help at during a particularly challenging time in our lives.
■ Making new short-term and long-term goals for your career. Keep a journal with achievable goals and tasks for each day. Scratching off tasks you’ve accomplished can lift your spirits.
■ Keeping organized in your job search and in your personal life. Use time available to accomplish that chore of cleaning out the garage or the closet that has been needing attention. The sense of accomplishment will help motivate you to accomplish other tasks and keep the cycle of depression at bay.
■ Taking care of yourself. Exercise regularly and eat a nutritional diet. Indulging in sweets and watching television are tempting, but during a difficult time it is more important than ever to stay healthy. Exercise may help ease symptoms of depression and anxiety.
■ Seeking professional help from your doctor or a mental health professional if you feel persistently sad, anxious, worthless or hopeless. Fees for counseling may be covered under your former employer’s health insurance plan via COBRA. Some counselors may also offer fee reductions in certain circumstances.
Sources: Annie Hadgkiss, licensed professional counselor with the Brassfield Center for Psychotherapy and Personal Development, and the National Institute of Mental Health (www.nimh.nih.gov)
